A Sincere Thank You to the Ottawa Lynx

Ms. Skeelo and I had planned to go to one last Lynx game on Wednesday night but they were rained out. Thankfully last night was a perfect evening for baseball and the Simard borthers, Marc and Marty, and I were able to catch the doubleheader that started at 6:05. I am very happy to say I was on hand for the 1000th win in club history in the front end. The Lynx took game 1 with an exceptionally well pitched, blistering paced 90 minute game (doubleheaders are only 7 inning games in Triple A). Pitcher Nick Blackburn was great and got some incredible defense from second baseman Joe Thurston. Thurston has easily been the best player on the team this season. His defensive range is outstanding and he has a strong arm and great hands. He will also finish the season hitting around .300 with a lot of gap power. If he wasn't behind Chase Utley, one of the best 2B in the bigs, he would be in Philly right now. Here's hoping Joe gets traded in the off season.

The first game was so quick I was able to watch the whole second game because it started at 7:55. Even though the Lynx lost 3-2 it was still a great game. The three of us were 6 rows up just to the left of the plate and had a great view of the ump completely blowing the call at the plate on the Sac Fly that scored the winning run for the Red Wings. This prompted Marty to scream Eat Shit in French, a definite highlight of the season. It went 8 innings, which I guess was technically extra innings but the double header was still over by 10:05.

All in all it was a great night. Quite frankly every time I have gone to a Lynx game, and I have been to many over the past 13 years, specifically over the past 6 years since I have lived a 15 walk from Lynx Stadium, it has been a great day or night regardless of whether the Lynx or won or lost. I'm a huge baseball fan and there's nothing like going to a minor league game with the silly between inning events and things like that. So Thank You to the Ottawa Lynx far providing so many great hours of entertainment over the last number of years. It meant a lot to me and Ms. Skeelo as well. I'm not ashamed to say that after the final out last night, while leaving the stadium for the last time, I got a little choked up.


Quick Note: Ms. Skeelo are now headed for our annual holiday of shopping and hiking in the beautiful White Mountains of New Hampshire. Blogging will be sporadic at best as I hope to spend the bulk of next week above teeeline and away from anything remotely resembling work related technology such as cell phones or computers. I'll likely be checking in mid week though.

Miss South Carolina Speaks Out.

It's really only fair that I post this. As I thought, she is really nothing like she came across.

Travis Henry out Shawn Kemp's Shawn Kemp.

- Travis Henry now has the unofficial Shawn Kemp award for most children fathered by the most women. Henry, only 28 has 9 kids from 9 different women. He even had to borrow money from his team last year to pay child support. It always amazes me how these guys spend millions on cars and jewelry but won't spend $20 on condoms.



And this poor girl who is Miss Teen South Carolina is no doubt next on Henry's "To Impregnate" list. He could easily convince her he wants twins with her to bring the count to 11 so he can start his own NFL offence one day.

Historic Night in the Bigs.

- How the hell does a big league team give up 30 runs the way Baltimore did last night to Texas? What exactly is the manager supposed to say in the post game press conference? I played on some of the worst amateur teams in Toronto history and all you can do on those nights is sit back and laugh until it's over.

- If you have been waiting for me to rip on Michael Vick now that he is officially pleading guilty, don't hold your breath. He's really not worth the words. All I will say is something my Grandmother used to say - Money can buy a lot of things but class isn't one of them.

- Here in Ottawa we get the Detroit affiliates for Fox, NBC etc. so I have watched a lot of Tigers games this year on Fox. It's safe to say they are in deep shit. What shocks me the most is that their pitching has been horrible lately. Last night Justin Verlander couldn't get out of the third inning and I'm not sure it's going to get better for them. Their starters are looking very tired.

- All of which means the fuckin' Yankees may make the playoffs after all, though I still think they will miss out. Either way my guarantee of ARod winning the MVP looks like a lock at this point.

- I'm not a complete golf fanatic but I would say I am certainly more than a casual fan. And I haven't got a clue how the FedEx Cup works. Not only that but the players don't either and most of them want the whole thing scrapped. One thing I didn't realize until reading the SI preview of it yesterday was that the $10 million first place prize is held in trust until you turn 45 (and let's face it, Tiger is winning this thing barring him getting hit by a truck). What the hell good is that to these guys? As one player said How do you pay your caddy his 10% of the first prize fee ($1 million) when you don't get it for 10 years?

Another big problem will be how the final tournament gets broadcast. If two guys are battling to win the final tournament but neither of them can win the whole Cup do they show them or show the two guys who are 19th and 20th in the final tournament but are competing to win the whole thing? This thing needs to be tweaked.

- Bill Harrah is going to build an arena in Vegas behind Paris and Bally's to attract NHL and NBA teams. My first thought is that he is building this thing way to close to the strip if the NBA moves there. All the locals I have talked to during my last two trips there are praying the NBA does not move to the city. Their big complaint is that the players can't leave their fights on the court and all their posses carry it over to the street and in this case the casinos. NBA all star weekend was a disaster and all hotel staff and non NBA tourists were terrified to walk the strip.

All the locals on the other hand would love to see a hockey team there because there is no off ice bullshit with hockey players (hockey players just snort coke in the privacy of their own parties and tend not to bug the general public) and the novelty would be high. I've been harping on the NHL for a long time to get to Vegas because it would absolutely work. The games would be sellouts because the casinos would buy up all the tickets and the home team would be competitive enough immediately that locals would get into it. And the reason I think the home team would be good immediately is because they will win at least 75% of their home games because visiting teams will be such a mess after getting into town the night before and going hard all night.

The Brilliance of John Smoltz.

- Last night John Smoltz passed Phil Niekro to become the Braves all time strikeout leader. Smoltz has to be a first ballot Hall of Famer. In my opinion he actually had better stuff than Maddux or Glavine in their primes. If not for injuries and a move to the bullpen he would also be closing in on 300 wins. And their is no pitcher of the last 25 years I would rather have starting Game 7 of the World Series than Smoltz. His playoff record speaks for itself.

- I wish I'd thought of the Michael Vick chew toy. That's capitalism at it's finest right there.

- I was happy as hell when Sabra was crowned this years winner on So You Think You Can Dance. Of the final four, the others being Lacey, Neil and Danny, I figured she would finish fourth with Neil winning and Lacey second. Sabra was the best combination of talent and performance and was consistently great week after week.

- While staying at my friend Reetch's last week I started dicking around Facebook to see what it was all about using his account (unlike MySpace, you need an account to poke around Facebook). I can now officially say I think Facebook sucks. I spent about 3 hours over the weekend going through it and looking up people I used to know. Then I realized why I don't really know these people anymore - because I've grown up. Anyone over 30 who spends hour after hour on that site for more than a week is the type of person whose life peaked in Grade 12 and is yearning to get back to the glory days.

- With an Ontario provincial election less than two months away I doubt this will be the Dalton's last blatant vote buying scheme. Sorry make that "informed use of taxpayer money" or some bullshit like that.

Horseshit Relief Pitchers 1975-1993.

- Yesterday The Hammer sent me an emergency email looking for the worst of the worst relief pitchers from the era 1975-1993. I stayed at my buddy Reetch's last night in Toronto and we talked about this for at least two hours while watching Entourage. Reetch and I played together and watched endless games together growing up so he was a good guy to help me out. We even did google searches of old team rosters from the time period.

The first name that came to both of our minds was ex-Jay Joey McLaughlin who was so brutal my Mom used to turn off the games when they brought him in because "they are trying to lose on purpose". After a lengthy discussion though Reetch and I both agreed Calvin Schiraldi deserves mention. He's the guy who blew the game 6 lead against the Mets in '86 that lead to Buckner's error.

So I am asking anyone reading this to nominate guys they think are among the worst of the worst for that time.

- Superbad looks juvenile, sophmoric, crude and offensive. And I can't wait to see it now that it has opened today.

Farewell To The Scooter

- If you are even just a casual baseball fan it is impossible not to have said "Holy Cow" to yourself and smiled when thinking about Phil Rizzuto who passed away yesterday. As great as he was a player he was an even better TV personality. My personal favorite Scooter moments were when he would go crazy for any Italian Yankee, specifically his waxing poetically about Mike Pagliarulo. I vividly remember Phil once saying "Oh that Paglarulo. He looks so good in that Yankee uniform." He was a classic.

- I would put this lawsuit in the frivolous category.

- How the hell did the release of the Madden football video game become close to a national holiday in the US?

So Long Michael!

- I'm glad to see NFL Commish Roger Goodell is being consistent and will suspend Michael Vick for the 2007 season. And I seriously hope Vick ends up in Federal "Pound Me In the Ass Prison" when all is said and done.

- Maybe Vick can join Pacman for some TNA wrestling fun. I think the two of them would get along well.

- I applaud any move that gives us a smaller Federal Cabinet, but you have to wonder if Harper gives any consideration at all to his backbenchers. You have to think he doesn't listen to anything any of them have to say.

- A fitting tribute to Ed Mirvish.

- The news of Merv Griffin's death made me think of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer finds his old set in the garbage and turns his apartment into the show. That was a classic. Merv sure had a hell of an impact on Hollywood and left a long legacy.

Scratch My Last Thought On Tiger

- Well apparently the PGA will be Tiger's tourney. The way the rest of the mooks on tour crap their pants when Tiger gets ahead this thing is as good as over. I'm dying to see someone push him though. I don't think Stephen Ames will but Scott Verplank and Geoff Ogilvy can definitely give him a run, and I think one of them will.

- Now that the pressure off Barry might hit 20 more before the season is out. The Giants may even decide to bring him back next year for about $6 million. It's insane that he's still good for an on base percentage of about .475.

- I've watched the Red Sox 5 times in the last week since discovering I get an HD baseball channel I didn't know I got and I still don't think they will get to the World Series. Their lineup looks weak and I don't think Manny and Ortiz are going to come around. Right now I say it still comes down to the Tigers (despite their recent slide they will recover) and the Angels in the ALCS.

Rick Ankiel Is Back!

- The Rick Ankiel saga is utterly bizarre. For those of you who don't remember Ankiel, he was a stud pitching prospect for the Cardinals a few years ago. He tore through the minors and had a great start to his big league career. He had a mid 90's fastball with unreal movement and an absolutely filthy curveball. Then in a playoff game he threw about 12 straight pitches to the backstop, lost all his confidence, couldn't throw strikes to save himself and had to stop pitching and start over as a hitter. Well he's back up with the Cards and homered last night in his first game as an outfielder. After all the bullshit this guy went through I really hope he can play for 6 or 7 productive years.

- The Miami Heat signing Penny Hardaway is absolutely desperate. There is no way he will be able to compete every night. 12 years ago when Shaq and Penny were together in Orlando they were expected to carry the league for 15 years. Now that they are reunited further south in Florida it is just going to be a disaster.

- With the increasing number of gun related deaths quickly on the way up in Toronto and now a restaurant shooting that left two dead in Vancouver, isn't time to wake up and admit Canada is not a gun free utopia and start dealing with the problem systematically and pragmatically? How many more 11 year olds have to die before we can have a debate without some pious ass saying "but gun violence is an American problem. Canadians are too civilized for that to happen here?"

- Every time I read about prolonged and heated union negotiations I wish all managers could act like Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross - "Third prize? Third prize is your fuckin' fired."

- Apparently Matt Damon is the most profitable big name actor in Hollywood. Great for him but I would like to see the formula being used to determine it.

Movie Review: The Simpsons Movie

It's pretty much exactly what you would expect it to be. I'll shortly outline the plot because it won't take long. Homer gets a pet pig and uses a pig crap silo. Lake Springfield has had a concrete barrier put around it so nobody can pollute it anymore. Homer dumps the pig crap in the lake and now Springfield is the most polluted town in the world causing the EPA to put a dome over the city. The Simpson clan escapes through a sink hole and moves to Alaska. They then realize the EPA is gong to bomb Springfield off the map and they return to save their town.

The plot is not all that relevant as the movie is just an excuse to make a quick and tidy 80 minute movie. The jokes are good and the first half is very funny. The second half looses steam as you would expect but still has some laugh out loud moments. A theatre movie for fans only, casual fans can wait for the DVD.

Rating 7/10

This Ain't Tiger's Tourney

- Call me crazy but I don't think Tiger will win the PGA this week. He'll be in the mix but I just don't think he'll pull it off. As hot as it's going to be I also think you can count out any of the Europeans who never win in weather like they will face this week. I'll take either a South African like Els or Goosen or an Australian like Adam Scott. Yeah I keep picking Scott but he has to win a major eventually doesn't he?

- Why Reggie Miller would want to make a comeback is beyond me, let alone with the Celtics. He had a fantastic career as a Pacer. I guess he figures nobody in the NBA can shoot a jumper and he can still be effective for 15 minutes a night.

- Talking to Diamond Joe last night we both figure Barry will get to about 768 by the end of the year and that will be it. I really don't see the Giants bringing him back next year and no other team will sign him. I think the only way San Fran brings him back is if they figure he will be less of a circus now that the record is broken. But they have to know he will still be a bad teammate and pain in the ass.

Movie Review: The Bourne Ultimatum.

The Bourne Ultimatum is the third and final installment of the Jason Bourne saga and it does not disappoint. The movie moves briskly from Moscow to Turin to Tangier to New York briskly and there is never a lull in the action. The cinematography is great and director Paul Greengrass films some of the claustrophobic fight scenes with hand held cameras, which gives the scenes an even more frenetic feel that I greatly enjoyed. A few scenes where would be assassins are searching for Bourne in an apartment make use of the video cameras built into their guns (if these things are real the terrorists must have a million of them) to great effect.

As for the story, Jason Bourne, played to perfection by Matt Damon (I'm a huge Damon fan so I may be biased), still can't remember much about his past life but is slowly putting the pieces together through headache inducing flashbacks. He meets a British journalist who can help him uncover his past only he needs to keep him alive to do so, which leads to a great scene in a train station where Bourne leads him in and out of trouble while on his cell phone. The information Bourne gets leads him to a secret training program he was put through and leads him on the path to New York to go after the Doctor who broke him (Albert Finney) and Noah Vosen, the head of the operation. Vosen is played capably by the always reliable David Strathairn but I couldn't watch his character without thinking he was miscast in this role.

Along for the ride again are Nicky Parson (Julia Stiles), who we are left to wonder whether she and Bourne were romantically involved at some point because the script never closed that thread, and Joan Allen who is fantastic as the would be fall girl Pamela Landy and who badly outshines Strathairn during their CIA pissing contest scenes (for which the dialogue was tired and badly cliched). The trust between Landy and Bourne is what drives the final act of the movie.

Overall I would say the script and story are little more than average but the action sequences, fight scenes and acting are just as good, if not better, as the two previous movies in the series. If you enjoyed the first two you definitely need to see this one.

Rating: 7.5/10

756

The hardest thing to do in professional sports is to hit a pitched baseball. Regardless of what you think of him, 756 is an unbelievable accomplishment.

Milestone Weekend.

- I don't think any sport will ever have a weekend like baseball just had. Barry tied Hank, A-Rod became the youngest to 500 dingers , and Tom Glavine won his 300th. While I think A-Rod's is the most impressive, mainly because of his young age and the fact that I think he will break whatever record number Bonds ends up with, I think the 300 wins by a pitcher is one we may not see again for a hell of a long time.

With pitchers durability at an all time low, the increased use of bullpens, the rarity of 20 win seasons nowadays and complete games going the way of the dodo, I honestly don't see anyone ever getting to 300 wins again. You would need to average 15 wins for 20 years to get there. I just can't see it.

- Is there a bigger idiot in golf than Rory Sabbitini? I have no problem with a guy making comments about Tiger's game. However, I do have a problem with this goof routinely saying stupid things about the game in general and then getting his ass handed to him when paired with Tiger in the final round.

- The Yankees are suddenly only a half game out of the wild card. I hate those fuckers. There still not making the playoffs though. Detroit and Cleveland will both be ahead of them when it's all said and done.

- Harper going through with getting rid of the Wheat Board would really impress me. Let's see if he sees it through.

- Happy 32nd to an original Pursuit of Leisure Hottie, Charlize Theron.

Fuck You CRTC!

The problems with the Canadian entertainment industry are myriad and worthy of about 6000 words on this site (which may actually happen next week as next week is the single slowest work week of the year). But one of the single biggest problems is the ridiculous CRTC who have told Canada's History Channel to yank CSI: New York by September 1. The show does not really make sense on the History Channel but I really don't care, they have the right to show whatever they want.

My bigger issue here is that is was on the recommendation of the Executive Director of the Writer's Guild of Canada that the CRTC pulled it. I'm tired of Canadian artists bitching about American cultural imperialism instead of raising their own level of quality and create shows Canadians will watch. It has been done a lot recently with shows such as Trailer Park Boys, Corner Gas and Davinci's Inquest. If you make good shows and movies, people will watch them no matter where they are from.

The Long Vegas Walk.

- The picture above will help to illustrate the walk we had each day in Vegas within our own hotel. The MGM Grand casino, reception and restaurants are in the blueish green building in the top left of the picture. We stayed in Signature Tower 3, which is the building on the extreme right of the picture. That's a hell of a long walk anytime let alone 4:30am. And yes, all those buildings are part of MGM property, it's that bloody big.

- A few weeks ago I picked Anya, Sarah, Danny and Pasha as my final four for So You Think You Can Dance (yes I realize nobody reading this watches the show), with Sarah winning it. I think I'm on track with the guys as only Neil, Danny and Pasha are left. I whiffed on the girls though as Anya didn't make the top 10 and Sarah made the final 8 but got sent packing last night. I was surprised because I thought she was the best girl on the show. And she's the sneakiest hot Sneaky Hot Girl I have ever seen (I didn't realize she was a Denver Nuggets dance squad member, which would have been a dead giveaway). Sneaky Hot means you don't think a girl is that great looking, then you see her in a revealing outfit with her hair done up and you just say "Holy Shit. Where did that body come from?"

I am now picking Lacey to win, which will drive me nuts but she is a complete phony who is just playing to the crowd. I would perfectly happy with any of the remaining guys or the other two girls Sabra or Lauren winning.

Note: I just realized Bill Simmons from ESPN used the term Sneaky Hot a few months ago. I did not lift that term from him. I swear. I've been using that term for a long time.

- A few nights ago I realized I got HD channel 483 and that it has 2 baseball games a night on. This was like Christmas for me. I hope to God it's not just a free preview. I got to watch the Red Sox twice this week and they are on twice more next week.

- You can always count on the Ottawa Super Ex for top notch entertainment. How can you go wrong with Trooper, David Wilcox, Weird Al, Jeff Healey and Honeymoon Suite?

- Here's why, despite a lot of problems lately, the NBA still gets it when it comes to marketing - On Christmas day you have Dwayne Wade vs. LeBron, the Suns vs. Kobe and Oden and Durant facing each other for the first time. And on opening night you have Oden playing his first game against Tim Duncan and the Spurs (I predict Oden will have three fouls in the first quarter).

- The fact that Wake Forest basketball coach Skip Prosser died at 56 and UNLV coach Lon Kruger had to undergo open heart surgery after his annual stress test at 54 tells you how much pressure college coaches are under. It's become a 12 month, 100 hour a week job due to alumni and other pressures. And imagine if they actually had to worry about their players showing up to class. As I and other guys my age struggle with the career vs. quality of life decisions, articles like this don't help.

Baseball Trade Deadline.

- There really wasn't anything earth shattering at yesterday's trade deadline. The biggest move would have to be Atlanta getting Free Agent To Be Mark Teixeira from the Rangers. The Braves still won't catch the Mets though and won't win the wild card either.

- My first thought about the Pirates picking up Matt Morris was "what the hell did they do that for?" but it actually makes some sense. The Pirates are in the NL Central, which may be the worst division in the history of baseball. I'm guessing the Pirates figured that they could get a good No. 2 starter without giving up much, continue to hope some young arms pan out and expect their good lineup to make them contenders next year. In that division the move actually makes sense to me.

- I don't see how there is any chance Daunte Culpepper in Oakland will end well. Culpepper was never any good without Randy Moss, has a damaged knee that limits his mobility and will be playing behind one of the worst defensive lines in the NFL. And he likes to bitch. At least it will be entertaining.

- A Jenna Jameson biopic can only be a 10/10 or a 0/10. There can be no in between. And good for Scarlett Johannson for turning it down, she can do a hell of a lot better than that.

- Another blow for free market capitalism in Canada as a Federal Court Judge struck down a Cabinet Order to end the Canada Wheat Board's monopoly.

- Another research topic I wish I had written about while at Carleton.