December 22, 2007 - World Orgasm Day.

Giddyup!

I Can't Get Enough of the Knicks.

- Knicks fans turned out in droves to hold a rally for the firing of Isiah. That is absolutely fantastic. Right now David Stern must be praying for Isiah and James Dolen to die in a fiery car crash together.

- Watching the Raps lose to the Blazers last night (not a bad loss either, they were up 7 after three but ran out of gas since they were in the second game of a back to back on the road) made me realize the Blazers are for real. I wouldn't be surprised if they made the playoffs this year. They are ridiculously athletic and fundamentally sound at the same time. I said when they won the lottery in the spring that they would win the NBA from about 2011-2015 and I am now more convinced than ever. Throw in Greg Oden next year and the fact that they project to be $29 million under the cap in two years and can go hard for Chris Paul or Deron Williams and every team in the west should be officially terrified.

- All of which makes it even more regrettable that the Suns couldn't pull off the Kevin Garnett-Amare Stoudemire trade. Even though the Suns beat the Spurs the other night they showed again there is no way in hell they can beat them in a 7 game series because they can't stop Tim Duncan. Stoudemire is still awful defensively, relying on instinct more than positioning, and Garnett would have pushed the Suns over the top against the Spurs. The Suns are wasting Steve Nash's prime and will have nothing to show for it.

- You knew the single biggest idiot and team wrecker in the NFL (aka Terrell Owens) would start ripping on his QB eventually. He's done it with Garcia and McNabb so why not Romo? So yeah, Jessica Simpson may wreck the Cowboys Super Bowl hopes but it's because of Owens not her. I think it is physically impossible for this asshole to keep his yap shut for more than 20 minutes.

- Britney Spears' mother has had to put her parenting book on hold now that her 16 year daughter is pregnant. Probably a good idea on her part. The question is Is anyone really surprised. The thing I have always said is that at the end of the day they are just trailer trash from Louisiana. All the money in the world can't change that.

- A Christmas letter taking 93 years to be delivered gives a new and literal meaning to the word snail mail. You just can't make stuff like this up.

- Curt Schilling calling on Roger to give up his Cy Youngs isn't going to help his rep as a self serving, egomaniacal dumbass. No two pitchers have bigger egos than Clemens or Schill so I would love to see Roger fire back at this one.

RIP Don Chevrier

- The original TV voice of the Blue Jays passed yesterday at the age of 69. Don Chevrier had an absolutely perfect pitch to his voice and always realized that people tuned in to watch Jay games, not listen to him talk, which in this day and age is very rare. He was also more than happy to let whoever was in the booth with him discuss the finer points of the game, no matter how annoying someone like Tony Kubek could be.

- Chris Simon should be banned for life. At what point does the union say that this guy is a danger to other guys in the union and stop supporting him.

- I really wish the Todd Bertuzzi-Marc Crawford he said she said would hurry up and die.

- What was that Roger? I couldn't hear you over the voice of your agent. Oh, you mean you still haven't said anything?

Dolphins Win! Dolphins Win!

- As I suggested here last week the Dolphins are not going to end the season winless after beating the hopeless Ravens. As I thought, the Ravens were all but done after nearly beating the Pats and have nothing left. The Dolphins on the other hand would be approaching their last three games as their own Super Bowl.

I'm not sure they will beat the Bengals though despite Diamond Joe's statement that is now officially worried. The monkey is off Miami's back and the Bengals are such a joke it is virtually impossible to predict this meaningless game.

At what point does Marvin Lewis lose his job for turning one of the most promising rosters in the NFL into an underachieving on and off the field mess only a parole officer could love?

- It's good to see the Browns playing well. I'm not sure any more team is more closely tied to their city in any sport than the Browns are to Cleveland.

- Add the Chargers to the list of teams that might be able to beat the Pats in Foxboro. The reason for that is LaDainian Tomlinson, plain and simple. He looks like the same guy who ran over everyone in the league the past few years and if he is on the Pats can't stop him (despite being 14-0 I still say the Pats have serious flaws running and stopping the run, which could kill them in shitty weather against a good team). The playoffs got a hell of a lot more interesting when LT rounded into form.

- Is there a bigger goof in golf than Rory Sabbatini? He pulls out of a 16 player field when he is in last place because of shin splints? What a joke that is. As Fred Couples suggested he should give his $170,000 to Tiger's foundation.

- I have seen the replay of Bryan McCabe breaking his hand at least 10 times and have seen nothing dirty about the play. It's just bad luck and the Leafs should quite whining.

- Are the Cowboys in trouble now that Romo is shagging Jessica Simpson? I don't think so. She'll be gone by the time the NFC Championship comes around.

- I will be reviewing No Country For Old Men tomorrow. I actually saw it two weeks ago but purposely decided to wait a while. I wanted to see if I could possibly think it was as good as I thought it was when I left the theatre. It is.

Barry vs. Roger.

- Now that Roger Clemens has been outed as a steroid user all those smug, sanctimonious writers and fans who ripped Barry Bonds and said he doesn't belong in the Hall of Fame better say the same thing about Tub of Shit too. If your argument is that all of Bonds' records are tainted and he's a disgrace to the game you are a complete hypocrite if you don't feel the same way about Clemens.

Oh yeah, it also sated clearly that Roger was using when he was with the Jays, which means he started them well before Bonds did.

- A 12 year contract? Apparently Mike Milbury is secretly running the Flyers.

- Canadian cell phone rates are obscene but anybody dumb enough to not read the fine print deserves an $85,000 cell bill.

- A perfect perspective on Global Warming. Temperatures on earth have been fluctuating for billions of years and current times aren't any different. If you want to take a climactic long view we are actually in a cold period because the Arctic and Antarctic have been ice covered for far less time than they were not. They were down right tropical millions of years ago.

Now if someone could make the obnoxious Al Gore exit stage left I would be eternally grateful. Or at least until Monday.

The Mitchell Report.

- George Mitchell releases his report into steroids in baseball this afternoon. It should be interesting to a certain degree but can you honestly say there is name you would be surprised to hear attached to steroids? I think the only name I would be shocked at is Ichiro because he's a skinny bugger and I think Japanese icons would view steroids as an affront to the game. Other than him no names will surprise me.

- Call me crazy but I think the Miami Dolphins are going to win a game this year. They will get killed by the Pats in week 16 but I think they will beat either the tired looking Ravens this week or the sorry no-count Bengals in the season finale.

- Bobby Petrino is a complete ass. If you want to bail on the Falcons after one year that's one thing. But quitting with three games left in the season is a disgrace. It's not like the Arkansas job wouldn't have been there a month from now if both sides agreed it was his.

- I suspect Miggy Tejada will have a big comeback year with the Astros next year. He'll have some protection in the lineup so he will see good pitches to hit (something he didn't get any of last year), NL pitching is worse than AL, and Minute Maid park is a banbox.

- Rumour has it David Arquette is upset his wife Courtney Cox is spending so much time with Jennifer Aniston. Arquette is punching about 6 weight classes over his weight with Cox to start with. Add in hanging out with Aniston all the time and I really don't see where he should be complaining at all. If he had any brains whatsoever he would be trying for a threesome every single minute of every single day.

- It looks like it's shaping up to be an old fashioned snowy Ottawa winter this year and I am actually looking forward to it. I would gladly take minus 12, snow on the ground and sunny over the minus 2 with grey skies and slush everywhere we have had the last few years. Ms. Skeelo and I love skating on the canal and it was only open about 10 days last year. And watching the kids across the street this morning playing in the snow fort they built was pretty damn cool.

This Is What Screws Up Salary Structures.

- What in the bloody hell were the Milwaukee Brewers thinking signing Eric Gagne to a one year deal worth $10 million? Plus incentives? Gagne was absolutely horrible with the Red Sox down the stretch and won't save more than 20 games at best.

The basic truth is that the closer role is the most overrated role in baseball. Aside from a couple of guys like Mo Rivera and Trevor Hoffman (and it looks like eventually Jonathan Papelbon who should be in the starting rotation) closers are a dime a dozen. Any decent reliever can catch lightning in a bottle for one or two years and save 35 games. Then he's done and it's time to give the next guy a shot. Why any team pays a closer more than $6 million a year is beyond me.

- Things just keep getting better at MSG. I hate the Knicks and Isiah so this whole disaster brings a smile to my face. As does the fact that they got killed at home to the awful Sixers.

- In light of all the injury problems they have had the Raptors are still a respectable 11-10. Once they get healthy they will start to role and get a top 5 seed in the still pathetic east.

- This Hollywood writer's strike could lead to one hell of a boring winter.

Vick Sentenced.

- Michael Vick has been sentenced to 23 months in Federal Pound me in the Ass prison. Pretty hard to feel sorry for him. I think the likelihood of some large inmates breeding him for fighting other smaller inmates for fight nights is pretty good. And if he loses I hope his owners slam him to the ground like he did with his dogs.

- I'm predicting the Patriots-Jets game next Sunday to be the ugliest defeat in NFL history. The Pats are going to want to absolutely humiliate the Jets after they blew the whistle on their cheating earlier in the year. The Pats are going to score at least 42 in the first half and leave Brady in for the third quarter. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they hung 80 on them.

- Another weekend another NBA related shooting, again involving the Pacers. Jamaal Tinsley says he made an error in judgement staying at that location so late. Well Jamaal, I think you are full of shit. This is the third time in the last 14 months you have made an "error in judgment" and I'm guessing it won't be your last.

Eventually an NBA player is going to wind up dead and that is sadly the only way these guys might learn to avoid these situations.

- I happily voted for Larry O'Brien in the latest mayoral election in Ottawa. AN di have been regretting it since about the day after that election.

- The fact that Robert Pickton can be eligible for parole in 10 years is absurd. The only saving grace is that he'll probably be killed in prison before then.

The Tigers Load Up.

- The Tigers just got a hell of a lot better than they already were by adding Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera. Willis is a nice pickup here but I am not convinced he is a huge upgrade over Andrew Miller who they gave up in the deal (that's not a knock on Willis I just think Miller is that good after watching him a couple times last September). Either way a top three of Verlander, Willis and Bonderman is as good as anyone in the AL, at least until Boston gets Santana.

The real story here was the pickup of Cabrera who seems to have learned to maintain his weight recently. If you'll recall Ivan Rodriguez had a similar problem early in his career so he should be a good mentor for Miguel. And Jesus can that guy hit. He's now that second best third baseman in the AL behind A-Rod.

- Watching Phoenix rip apart the Raps last night proved to me that there is the Suns and Spurs and everyone else.

- Andrew Jones at 18.1 a year is crazy. He is past his prime, strikes out too much and doesn't get to nearly as many balls as he used to. Torii Hunter got $18 million a year too, which I also think is nuts, but he will turn out to be the better investment.

- Scott Neidermayer returning to the Ducks can't be a surprise to anyone. Let's just hope he doesn't become the Tub of Shit (aka Roger Clemens) of the NHL.

- Happy Holidays. As per my post about how brutal the first 48 hours of a news cycle is for something like this I will not be commenting.

I Officially Hate the Pats.

- After watching that ridiculous chain of events in the last 2 minutes against the Ravens last night I am convinced the Pats are going 19-0 but I hope they don't. I really hate this team from the arrogance of Belichick on down. I still think a strong, physical team that can run the ball can beat them and that means the Steelers.

I am still not sold on the Pats running game or secondary and the Steelers can hold possession long enough to beat them and Big Ben and Ward can hurt their secondary. I just hope the Steelers face them in the playoffs.

As for the Colts they absolutely can not beat the Pats with Dwight Freeney out for the year. They won't get enough pressure on Brady.

- The Red Sox are doing the right thing going after Johan Santana. They already have their ace in Josh Beckett so Santana does not have to be a savior and can afford to miss the odd start. He'd be the perfect number 2 for them.

- If the Jays do not make a push for lefty Erik Bedard J.P. should be fired immediately. Actually he should be fired anyway but he won't be yet. Bedard is exactly what they Jays need to seriously compete with Boston for the division and for the wild-card. He's a high strikeout guy who can handle the pressure of playing meaningful September games. And I would give up Burnett to get him.

- The 76ers are finally firing Billy King. If you are a Sixers fan you have to be pretty disgusted with the way this guy has ruined your team. And you also have to be disgusted that they are bringing in current Nets GM Ed Stefanski who has failed to trade Jason Kidd when he should have, has a injury riddled underachieving roster, and traded for the biggest waste of talent in the NBA, Vince Carter.

- The main reason I haven't commented on the death of Sean Taylor is that I really don't have much to add other than it was a shame a 24 year old died in such a fashion. The media coverage has been predictably awful and I don't want to add to it because I have not read much of it. I am at the point where media coverage after events like this and the Virginia Tech shootings is so knee jerk and irresponsible I can't read the first 48 hours of a news cycle because 99% of it is completely false.