Ain't Nothin' Quite Like Vegas!

I'm finally caught up on emails and assorted work crap and have the energy and time to give a rundown on last weekend in Vegas.

I'll first say that there is nothing quite like a weekend in Vegas as far as bonding experiences go with the guys. One of the things that prompted the trip was one of our old roommates, Terry, passed away recently from cancer at just 32 years old. We were likely to go anyway, this just put a bit of an emotional spin on it. So last Thursday night I headed down from Ottawa and Whitby Craig (a university roommate), T-Bone (aka Big Sexy)and Marc Soja (old roommate) headed down from Toronto. We also met Timbo there as he was part way through his LA to Vegas to San Fran two week excursion (which sees him fly out of SFO to Ottawa today). Finally, Diamond Joe (old roommate and the only father among us) rounded out the group by flying in from Phoenix for one night only Saturday night.

The weekend got off to a bit of a rough start when my connecting flight through Chicago was delayed by an hour (quick note: never connect through O'Hare unless you have at least an hour and a half layover. The size of the place is terrifying and really a pain in the ass to get around in). Once I got to Vegas at 11:10pm (the Toronto boys had got their just before me and had their bags) it took an hour and 20 minutes to get my bags due to a "security issue", which is airline speak for "We just can't get the cargo door on the plane open". The highlight of that wait was the airline guy getting tired of answering people's questions about the delay and saying over the PA "Sit down, Be Quiet and Wait." All the passengers on my flight were so shocked by this assholes comments we were too stunned to bull rush him and kill him, which under the circumstances would have been completely appropriate.

We arrived at the MGM around 1:00am only to be told they were overbooked and that they were getting our room ready. They comped us a meal at the Studio Cafe while we waited. Finally around 2:15am I went back to see about the room. Still not ready. I was so tired I thought I was going to cry at that point because I made the reservations two months in advance and I have stayed at the MGM at least 5 times. As I told the women at the desk this she made the proverbial "walk back to the manager". When she came back she told us we were being upgraded to the Signature Tower suites, which made my night a lot better. After getting to the room (more on that in a second) at 3:00am I was pretty wound up so T-Bone and I went for a quick drink and got back to the room at 4:00am.

Now I would never complain about a hotel upgrade but the Signature Tower of the MGM is a LONG way from the casino floor, literally about a 15 minute walk. While the room was fantastic I am not sure it was worth the walk, especially when we were doing it about 6 or 7 times a day. Doing it at 4:30am Saturday night/Sunday morning after being at Tabu (that story later) was pretty much the straw that broke the camels back.

Friday morning I woke up around 8:00am despite going to bed at 4:00am. I find I have completely lost the ability to sleep past 8:00am regardless of when I go to bed. It has to be due to having a 8-5 job. Is this phenomenon particular to me or are all the over 30 readers of this in the same boat? I seriously want your input.
I walked the strip a little bit (the strip is actually really neat that time of day. It's not that busy and the crispness of a new day is kind of exciting) then headed to the pool with Marc and Craig. We made small talk with two late 30's lesbians (sorry Marc, but they were lesbians) from Wales who were very friendly and funny and made pool time interesting. After a quick lunch and some gambling it was back to the room for a nap.

For dinner we hit the Brew Pub at the Monte Carlo, which is the most overlooked restaurant in the city. It's not 5 star, but as far as pubs go the food is fantastic and well priced. They also have their own microbrews, all of which are top notch. After dinner it was drinks in the room until we headed to Ghostbar at The Palms.

The Palms (about a mile west of the strip) may be losing a bit of it's cache but frankly I don't care, it's still the best place to party in Vegas. There are three great clubs to hop to and from (if you have the energy, which at 31 I don't anymore) or to stay at individually. We hit Ghostbar because it is smaller, less intense, easier to have conversations with people, and the views of the strip and the city from the 53rd (or is it 54th?) floor location are unbeatable, prompting Craig to ask "Where out there is Gil Grissom tonight?" (I had no adequate answer) A quick aside - When you go to bars in Vegas, never stand in line. It takes guys forever to get in. Calmly walk up to the manager and grease him. It cost us $40 a guy to get in and cover would have been $25. So $15 to avoid an hour line is well worth it. Once inside we started talking to a group of girls from just north of San Fran who were there for a girl's weekend. One of them then proceeded to teach T-Bone how to grind on the dance floor, which was priceless. At one point she told T-Bone to put her hand on her ass. He wasn't sure he heard correctly so she yelled "Just put your hand on my ASS". I'm not sure I have ever seen T-Bone happier then at that exact moment. After they left Timbo got cut off at the bar and was politely asked to leave, and Marc and Craig left too, leaving T-Bone and I. As I watched Big Sexy work a girl for over an hour only for her to leave (I really did think he was going back to the room with her, which as I mentioned weeks ago was my main goal of the weekend, getting him laid) I talked to her sister who was celebrating her 30th birthday. Their 51 year old Mom was there too - and she was picking up a 25 year old guy! Only in Vegas. At that disgusting point I decided I actually wanted to walk part way back to the MGM (I was sobering up by then) then grab a cab the rest of the way. I gave T-Bone cab fare to get back (T-Bone don't walk much) and started to walk.

That's when the night took a very nice turn. I passed four very well dressed (classy black dresses, not slutty) girls from San Jose who were celebrating one of them turning 22 that night (conversation something like: "How old are you turning?", "22" , "Jesus Christ! I'm turning 32 next month"). They were staying at NYNY, which is across from the MGM so I split a cab with them. They were great girls so we exchanged numbers so we could hang the next night. The cab dropped them off at NYNY and took me to my room. That night I got to bed around 4:30am (I'm starting to shake from exhaustion just writing that again).

Saturday morning I was up again at 8:00am Goddamn it! After walking the strip a bit I hit the pool again with Craig, Marc and T-Bone. Diamond Joe rolled in about noon and was ready to go all night as long as he was never more than two feet from a Red Bull. After gambling for a while (I'll get this over with now - My final tally for the weekend was down $250, which I consider a success for 4 days in Vegas), Joe and I checked out the new Forum Shops at Ceasar's. Our timing was great because Pete Rose, one of Joe's heroes, was doing a signing at a card show there. Joe was lucky enough to have a quick conversation with Pete and shake his hand, no doubt a career highlight for Joe (and maybe for Pete too, who knows?). This marks the second time I have seen Pete in Vegas, though I am starting to think the odds of seeing Rose in Vegas are better than not seeing him in Vegas.

After a quick nap it was time to head to the Charlie Palmer Steakhouse at the Four Seasons for dinner, one of the most anticipated parts of the trip. After a quick, emotional toast to Terry (the gist of it being how much we value the friendships we have maintained with guys since university) we ate like Vikings. You can never go wrong with a steak at Charlie's. Never. After dinner we told the guy outside the Four Seasons we were headed to the MGM. Thinking he would get us a cab we were a tad confused when he got in a $100K Cadillac SUV and pulled up to take us to the MGM "compliments of the Four Seasons." Diamond Joe was quick enough to ask if he would like hang out and drive us around all night but the answer ,I'm very sorry to say, was no. I got some good stories from the guy about what a complete disaster NBA All-Star weekend was though. Terrifying he said, just terrifying. Then I told him my first ever night in Vegas was the night that Tyson bit Holyfield's ear off and Tupac got shot (nobody ever remembers that was the same night), something I am actually quite proud of.

We were not sure where we were going that night so we called the girls from San Jose and the girls from San Fran and decided we would try Jet at The Mirage. I mentioned earlier that you should just grease the manager at every bar you go to but you have to make sure it does not cost you a stupid amount. It would have cost $70 a guy to get in we so said "Uh. No!" and headed to Tangerine at Treasure Island. I had us on the guest list so we get in for free but the club was really packed and you couldn't move. After watching the Sirens show out front (which really wasn't as good as I hoped. Then again it is just a pirate show so I'm not sure why my hopes were so high. It's not like I thought Kiera Knightely and Johnny Depp were going to be in the show) we left.

Unsure of where we were going to go we talked to Casey, Jenny, Amanda and Kristina (girls from San Jose) and they were stuck in line at Jet with no hope of getting in. We headed to Studio 54 because it had the benefit of being in our hotel (the girls headed to Pure at Ceasar's, a place six guys had no chance of getting into at that hour). We couldn't get into 54 so we ended up at Tabu (the manager there is a guy named James. Great guy and you only have to grease him $30 to get in, and he let me get the girls in for $10), a smaller lounge that plays great music (and also in the MGM) and doesn't charge you $300 to sit at a table. (It's worth mentioning at this point that we saw Ben Mulroney just outside the club. Joe made a beeline to him to tell him how much he loved his father Brian. Pete Rose and Mulroney in the span of 12 hours. Joe could have died right then and been the happiest man alive). Craig had to call it a night at 1:00am due to exhaustion but the rest of us were good to go. Casey and the girls met us there at around 2:00am and we had a great time until we left about 4:30am. At one point "Electric Avenue" by Eddy Grant came on and I said "Back to 1983" to which one of the girls replied "I wasn't even born yet" (she smiled while saying it). That put things in a weird perspective, especially when I said, jokingly of course, "Well screw you then." One of the other highlights there had to be when Casey forced T-Bone to dance with a girl who was dancing on a table alone in the area we were in (T-Bone needed to be urged to do this so it was well warranted) and T-Bone actually did it. Good Times! Though the 15 walk to our room after Tabu just about killed T-Bone, Marc and I. Final bedtime that night - 5:00am.

Sunday wasn't a complete write off but we were all beyond tired at that point. We walked the strip a bit more, napped, and then Craig, Timbo, T-Bone and I headed down to Freemont St. (the original Vegas strip that is now 10 steps beyond seedy and has a light show every hour on the hour). We lasted about an hour there and headed back to the hotel. We finished the weekend with a couple of drinks at the Zuri Lounge in the MGM (I didn't have a drink, I was going to throw up just thinking about it) and I was in bed by a respectable midnight. Then off the next morning.

All in all I would have to say it was one hell of a great weekend. Anytime you can get six old friends together, away from family and job pressures, make new friends while there, and talk about old memories while making new ones it has to be considered a success. There will no doubt be future guys weekends in Vegas for us and although the partying until 4:00am consecutive nights may not continue (certainly we'll do it one night though) and the topics of conversation may change to things like mortgages, children, or how our bodies take a while to recover from mundane things like golfing consecutive days, one thing won't change - the importance of spending quality bonding time with old friends who mean the world to each other.

And what about the Strippers? You are probably asking yourself by now. I'm proud to say we did not set foot in such an establishment. And I'm not even lying. I guess that means we've matured over the years.

The saying goes "What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas." Well you just found out pretty much everything that happened so nothing stayed. If you want to know more you know how to reach me.

A thanks to Rachael and the girls from San Fran and especially Casey, Jenny, Amanda and Kristina from San Jose for helping add a lot of fun to a great weekend. Not that there's a chance in hell you'll read this but the thought is there.