Usian Bolt.

I haven't written about the Olympics yet because I wanted to think about what I saw for a while instead of just giving a knee jerk reaction. After almost a week I feel the same way - watching Usain Bolt dominate the track was the single most dominant and amazing thing I have ever seen in all my years watching sports. It is simply unprecedented and unbelievable that one man could dominate the 100m, 200m and also a relay event the way Bolt did it. I was jumping up and down and cheering like an 8 year old watching it.

Winning the 100m in world record time while cruising the last 30m was a thing of beauty but watching him really bust his ass into a headwind to crush people in the 200m was even more impressive to me. To put what this guy did in perspective you need to understand the reaction of the guys he ran against. The egos of sprinters take a back seat to nobody. These guys make ARod look like the poster boy for modesty. Whenever a sprinter loses a race it's because he was sick, slow track, the other guy is on steroids, any excuse you can think of. There were absolutely no excuses made, just awe of Bolt.

After Bolt ran the quarterfinal of the 100m in 9.97 after pulling up at 50m and looking around the stadium Donovan Bailey, never at a loss for words, was asked if he could please put Bolt's performance in perspective. He simply said " Um, no I can't". After the 100 final Bailey, also not known for modesty, was asked how he would do against Bolt in his prime. His answer was "I'd be an audience. I can't compete with that guy". After the 200m quarter Canadian sprinter Jared Connauhgton was asked how Bolt would do to which he answered "everyone knows he's going to win this thing. He could do a cartwheel and still win gold" and the American sprinter near him simply nodded and said "yeah, he's right." That is completely unheard of in track.

Bolt winning by the distance he won by is the track equivalent of Tiger winning The Masters by about 25 strokes or the Red Sox going 140-22 in the regular season then 11-0 in the playoffs. I realize what Michael Phelps did was impressive and unbelievable but it has been done before. Mark Spitz won seven golds in '76 and had he known eight would have been a bigger deal he would have joined another relay and won eight. Bolt is the king of the Olympics and it's no contest. And he's only 22. Yikes!

Diamond Joe Gets It Right and Other Stuff

- A few months ago I scoffed at the idea of Hillary as Obama's running mate and wondered who it might be. Well full props to Diamond Joe for calling it as Joe Biden.

I have to admit the novelty of Obama has completely worn off for me. I like the fact that he is a relative newcomer and has not been completely corrupted by the Washington system and think he portrays a good image internationally (important considering the trained chimp currently in the White House). But I'm now convinced he knows jack shit about any of the actual issues. He is clearly trying to win this election as a Rock Star candidate. Is the US ready to elect a Rock Star President? Or a black President? I think the answer to both those questions is yes but my gut tells me the answer to will they vote for a Black Rock Star President is no. It's too early to predict but I think McCain is going to win.

- A sad goodbye to Bernie Mac who was one of my favorite actors. I loved The Bernie Mac Show and I thought he was the break out star in the Ocean's movies. I always thought he would be a great dramatic lead and Steven Soderberg had said he would love to direct him in such a role. Unfortunately we will never get the chance to see it.

- A sad goodbye to Leroi Moore of The Dave Matthews Band. There is not a current band going that can come within a country mile of the DMB is terms of instrumental ability and Leroi was probably the best in the group. The best live show I have ever seen is still the DMB at Arrow in Hall in Toronto in April/98.

- It serves me right for stopping to pick Padraig Harrington to win majors about a year and a half ago. Then he goes out wins three of the last 6. The best thing about him winning the British and PGA is that he had already one 1 and no jackass will say they deserve an asterisk because Tiger wasn't there.

The next guy to win his first major will be Sergio. He is so damn close. As I said before he just needs a good week putting to win because he hits the ball better than anyone tee to green. He is starting to mature too and isn't throwing the tantrums he used to. He is going to win at least 5 majors in the next 7-10 years and probably more because he can own the British for a while due to the consistently slower greens.

Movie Review: The Mummy - Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

This one is hardly worth the time it is going to take me to write this. The story should be pretty familiar by now - Rick and Evelyn O'Connell (Brendan Fraser and Mario Bello who replaces Rachel Weisz) battle Mummies along with Evelyn's humorous brother Jonathan (John Hannah). This time their son Alex (Luke Ford)leads them to the Mummy by uncovering the Tomb of Emperor Han (Jet Li) who was cursed by a wizard centuries ago.

It's pretty apparent that this movie is nothing but a cash grab, which really wouldn't bother me that much if anyone involved had put any effort into it. Bello sleepwalks through the whole thing with a terrible British accent, Ford is unbelievably annoying as the brash son/tomb raider and Hannah has brutal line after brutal line to work with. Fraser isn't much better but he shows some effort despite some terrible one-liners, even by the standard of the genre.

What makes the movie somewhat watchable is watching Jet Li go over the top and watching him spar verbally and physically with Zi Juan (Michelle Yeoh) and her daughter Lin (played by hottie Isabella Leong who can't act worth a damn). Also enjoyable were the Yetis that come to our heroes defense in the Himalayas.

Overall the dialogue was clunky, the Chinese sets were surprisingly bad, and the effects were average throughout. But don't worry, maybe they will redeem themselves in the fourth installment, which apparently will take place in Peru judging by the end of this one.

This is the type of movie to watch on a hungover Sunday, not in the theater.

Rating - 4/10

Best of Luck Brett.

Now that the Packers have Brett Favre to the Jets along with a "Thanks and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out" message it will be interesting to see how the Jets do.

They have a last place schedule and have the pitiful Dolphins and Bills twice in their own division, which is probably three wins right there (though I will enjoy watching the Pats kick the shit out of Favre twice this year, despite their shaky secondary). They also have the Raiders, Rams, Chiefs, Cardinals and 49ers on their schedule. It's not inconceivable for them to go 8-8 but that still doesn't get them to within sniffing distance of the playoffs in the brutally tough AFC. If the Jets think that Favre is going to somehow get them to 11-5 they are in a dream world.

The PGA Championship

Despite the ridiculous "Glory's Last Shot" tag given the PGA (nobody does taking yourself way too seriously like the PGA) I will probably end up watching a lot of it this weekend.

I see another first time Major winner this week and I think it's going to be Lee Westwood. He's been playing really well this summer and the PGA sets u it's courses a lot like the US Open tries to, just a bit less forgiving.

As for Vijay and Phil, playing well last week was nice but that won't translate into a good finish here. In fact neither one of them will ever win another Major. Vijay because I just think he is to old and Phil because he is such a mess mentally in Majors. He has been bad in them since he threw away Winged Foot and he isn't getting any younger. Don't get me wrong, he'll blow at least two more but he'll never win another one. Young guys on tour like Anthony Kim only care about kicking ass and guys like Vijay and Phil, as well as Ernie Els are going to be the victim of just not wanting it as bad and aging.

Movie Review: Wall E

Before you say anything I know I am getting sloppy with my movie reviews. Like The Dark Knight I am reviewing this one almost a week after seeing it. I swear I will try to improve that record. Anyway, here goes.

This is Pixar's best movie to date and that is saying something. It's not only a cartoon, it's also a science fiction, comedy, love story, and silent movie all rolled into one. And it is absolutely charming.

The first half hour of this movie is just breathtaking. Wall E is the last robot on earth (the whole thing is quite apocalyptic) and humans evacuated the planet 700 years earlier as a result of the level of garbage on the planet rendering it completely unlivable and deemed so by the Head of State and large corporation Buy 'n Large. Wall E is one of thousands of robots built to compress, within his "stomach", and stack the garbage into piles that rival skyscrapers in size. Watching him go through his daily routine of compacting, building, searching for spare parts and watching Hello Dolly with his little cockroach friend kind of reminded me of old Buster Keaton silent movies where emotion and comedy were portrayed purely by body language and antics.

As the Axiom, the ship built by Buy 'N Large to house humans during the "5 years" it would take to clean up Earth, comes back 700 years later it leaves Eve, a robot whose directive is to find life. Here the movie becomes a love story as Wall E falls in love and when Eve gets called back to the mother ship Wall E must follow.

The movie loses a bit when it introduces the glutinous humans who can do nothing more than sit on chairs, eat and get taxied everywhere in a climate controlled sunny and 72 degree (hey, just like LA!) weather. It's the goal of the captain to return to earth and rebuild life there. Needless to say Wall E runs into some turmoil getting Eve but the animation scene with Eve and Wall E dancing in space outside the Axiom is fantastic.

I'm not giving away much by saying they get back to Earth in the third act but I will say that the culmination of the love story is great. I find it amazing that Pixar consistently develops characters that I become emotionally invested in much more than live action movies with real actors. With every little beep and blip noise Eve and Wall E become more and more lovable.

If you are looking for a quick 90 minute movie that will leave you smiling for a long time after you leave the theater, you can't go wrong with Wall E.

Rating 9/10

A quick aside. There has been way too much commentary from idiots with nothing better to do than justify their life as "political experts" on this movie as some sort of political tool for left wingers or right wingers. I actually saw the movie not so much as an ode to the dangers of Global Warming but just a comment on North America's over consumption. There was no indication at all that Global Warming made Earth unlivable, there was just too much damn garbage piled up. As for the fact that humans were portrayed as fat and docile, well yeah a lot of them are and this movie was just trying to have fun with that fact.

If anything I saw this movie as more a right wing commentary. The reason Earth was in such bad shape was because of a large, statist government, Buy 'N Large, that was responsible for supplying the populace everything they needed. And ultimately Earth was recolonized based on conservative staples as farming and the strength of the nuclear family.

But really I like to believe the creators who have said the movie has no agenda at all and just wanted to tell the story of the last robot on Earth.